Scouts Guide To the Zombie Apocalypse - directed by Christopher Landon
Starring: Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller, Joey Morgan, Sarah Dumont, David Koechner, Halston Sage, Cloris Leachman, Niki Koss, HIram A Murray, Lukas Gage, Drew Droege, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Elle Evans, Blake Anderson
Running Time: 93 minutes
Rated: R16 - Violence, Profanity and two brief instances of Nudity
There is real skill in making movies like this one.
The tone has to be spot on.
Crude humour is perfectly appropriate but there's a fine line when using it.
It's the difference between a cheeky giggle and a pervy laugh.
One is good - the other not.
When it comes off you get the likes of "Braindead" ('Dead Alive' in some countries) or "Re-Animator" but if you miss you end up with - well, this movie.
I don't expect great art in the scripting in this sort of goofy flick but there are some pretty basic things that need to be got right.
Smart in being dumb I guess.
And I use the word 'dumb' with all reverence to the greats of the genre.
I would in no way describe "Braindead", "Re-Animator" or any of the Edgar Write Cornetto Trilogy flicks as dumb - they are the top of the comedy-splatter pile after all.
I am referring more to the likes of "Zombeavers" and "Zombie Strippers" - clearly influences on "Scouts Guide To the Zombie Apocalypse".
They are deliberately dumb by design but they work.
They embrace the absurdity of the central concept and just run with it.
In hindsight the clue to this movies failure is in the poster.
'Always Bring Protection' it announces.
It makes no sense in the context of the movie or even the poster.
It perfectly highlights the complete everything but the kitchen sink mentality in the scripting.
Yes, there is a stripper in it but honestly it is not really that important that she is.
The boys are about as horny as boys in movies like this are but again - it isn't a huge part of the story.
It could have been but it isn't.
It is one of the many possibilities that get flung aside as the movie tries and fails to get a feel of its own.
It wants to be "Zombieland" with a dash of "Zombie Strippers" but it hasn't got the guts (no pun intended - or is there?) to go through with it.
It's a simple story - one night three friends get caught up in a zombie outbreak in a small town and aided by a stripper they try to survive the night.
That plot is so simple that it leaves a heap of room to build up some angles.
There looks to be four or five that could have fired.
Two of the trio want to quit the Scouts but are worried how their fat, geeky friend who has little going for him apart from the Scouts will take it.
This character (Augie) has lost his Father but the issue will be dropped almost as soon as it is raised as a potential major plot point.
So scratch one.
Next we have the love interest - or should we say two.
The lead character Ben is in love with second lead Carter's Sister who thinks of him as a little brother.
Hell, she even tells him.... poor guy - Friendzoned!.
Then Denise- school dropout and super hot stripper.
We don't see her strip and in fact she may not actually be a stripper as such but this isn't explored either.
There is clear chemistry there too between her and Ben- in a genre kind of way at least where a nerd can score a hottie.
One of these love interest angles goes nowhere and one of them is left off to the side only to be rapidly and unbelievably wrapped up at the end.
Then there is Scout Leader played by the always great David Koechner.
He exists purely as an ongoing gag that never fires.
Likewise the crabby old neighbour played by a terribly under utilised Cloris Leachman.
That the very low rent and direct to video "Zombie Strippers" works and this film doesn't highlights how badly it dropped the ball.
The former is always true to its intentions.
Nudity, gore and Robert Englund.
Gold.
Not because it's great but because it knows what it is and sticks to it.
With 'Scouts' it skimps on the gore, nudity and on the laughs.
For God's sake - pick one and run with it!
Witness the abysmal Britney Spears gag that occupies 2 minutes of screen time and generates groans not laughs.
What is left is a tone deaf hodge-podge of half written characters, story strands that go nowhere and a zombie plague that never remotely feels 'real'.
That is an odd thing to say but the world created by any of the similar movies that I have mentioned kicks the crap out of this one.
The town doesn't feel real because it hasn't been defined.
It is just a collection of locations without context.
Parents apparently don't exist and anything that you would expect to be front and centre like a police force, huddled survivors or the military are absent.
Or at least an explanation for their absence is.
When a soldier does show up it is as random as his immediate departure.
The reason that "Braindead", "Zombieland" and "Re-Animator" work is that there is a central idea that is always there.
All of them are basically demented love stories.
Laughs are built off characters and who they are and what they want.
With "Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse" I suspect the title came first, then the stripper and finally everything else.
Lead hottie- the busty, daisy dukes and a tank-top wearing Sarah Dumont is fine but she is no Emma Stone or as it turns out Jenna Jameson.
Not to say that Dumont is bad - she is clearly a better actress than Jameson for what that is worth but at least Jameson in "Zombie Strippers" had a cheesy role to ham up and she was kind of perfect for it.
Dumont's character is a variation on the hooker with a heart of gold schtick that was old a quarter of a century ago.
I really wanted this movie to work but assumed that even if it wasn't very good that it would deliver on the basics.
If it had some nicely executed zombie gore scenes or jokes that worked you could forgive this films failures in other areas.
Not a lot to ask - surely?
Sadly there is nothing left to make up for a really weak script populated with poor characterisation and a story that makes no sense at all.
A wasted opportunity.
RATING: 67/ 100
CONCLUSION: Weak. This movie shows how hard it is to get this sort of flick right. Copying the greats only works if you know what made them work and as much as it wants to be "Zombieland" meets "Shaun of the Dead" with a dash of "Braindead" it misses by miles.
Running Time: 93 minutes
Rated: R16 - Violence, Profanity and two brief instances of Nudity
There is real skill in making movies like this one.
The tone has to be spot on.
Crude humour is perfectly appropriate but there's a fine line when using it.
It's the difference between a cheeky giggle and a pervy laugh.
One is good - the other not.
When it comes off you get the likes of "Braindead" ('Dead Alive' in some countries) or "Re-Animator" but if you miss you end up with - well, this movie.
I don't expect great art in the scripting in this sort of goofy flick but there are some pretty basic things that need to be got right.
Smart in being dumb I guess.
And I use the word 'dumb' with all reverence to the greats of the genre.
I would in no way describe "Braindead", "Re-Animator" or any of the Edgar Write Cornetto Trilogy flicks as dumb - they are the top of the comedy-splatter pile after all.
I am referring more to the likes of "Zombeavers" and "Zombie Strippers" - clearly influences on "Scouts Guide To the Zombie Apocalypse".
They are deliberately dumb by design but they work.
They embrace the absurdity of the central concept and just run with it.
In hindsight the clue to this movies failure is in the poster.
'Always Bring Protection' it announces.
It makes no sense in the context of the movie or even the poster.It perfectly highlights the complete everything but the kitchen sink mentality in the scripting.
Yes, there is a stripper in it but honestly it is not really that important that she is.
The boys are about as horny as boys in movies like this are but again - it isn't a huge part of the story.
It could have been but it isn't.
It is one of the many possibilities that get flung aside as the movie tries and fails to get a feel of its own.
It wants to be "Zombieland" with a dash of "Zombie Strippers" but it hasn't got the guts (no pun intended - or is there?) to go through with it.
It's a simple story - one night three friends get caught up in a zombie outbreak in a small town and aided by a stripper they try to survive the night.
That plot is so simple that it leaves a heap of room to build up some angles.
There looks to be four or five that could have fired.
Two of the trio want to quit the Scouts but are worried how their fat, geeky friend who has little going for him apart from the Scouts will take it.
This character (Augie) has lost his Father but the issue will be dropped almost as soon as it is raised as a potential major plot point.
 |
| I know - it looks good doesn't it? It isn't. |
Next we have the love interest - or should we say two.
The lead character Ben is in love with second lead Carter's Sister who thinks of him as a little brother.
Hell, she even tells him.... poor guy - Friendzoned!.
Then Denise- school dropout and super hot stripper.
We don't see her strip and in fact she may not actually be a stripper as such but this isn't explored either.
There is clear chemistry there too between her and Ben- in a genre kind of way at least where a nerd can score a hottie.
One of these love interest angles goes nowhere and one of them is left off to the side only to be rapidly and unbelievably wrapped up at the end.
Then there is Scout Leader played by the always great David Koechner.
He exists purely as an ongoing gag that never fires.
Likewise the crabby old neighbour played by a terribly under utilised Cloris Leachman.
That the very low rent and direct to video "Zombie Strippers" works and this film doesn't highlights how badly it dropped the ball.
The former is always true to its intentions.
Nudity, gore and Robert Englund.
Gold.
Not because it's great but because it knows what it is and sticks to it.
With 'Scouts' it skimps on the gore, nudity and on the laughs.
For God's sake - pick one and run with it!
Witness the abysmal Britney Spears gag that occupies 2 minutes of screen time and generates groans not laughs.
What is left is a tone deaf hodge-podge of half written characters, story strands that go nowhere and a zombie plague that never remotely feels 'real'.
That is an odd thing to say but the world created by any of the similar movies that I have mentioned kicks the crap out of this one.
The town doesn't feel real because it hasn't been defined.
It is just a collection of locations without context.
Parents apparently don't exist and anything that you would expect to be front and centre like a police force, huddled survivors or the military are absent.
Or at least an explanation for their absence is.
When a soldier does show up it is as random as his immediate departure.
 |
| Leachman, a pretty decent opening scene and an appealing hottie aren't nearly enough to save this one |
All of them are basically demented love stories.
Laughs are built off characters and who they are and what they want.
With "Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse" I suspect the title came first, then the stripper and finally everything else.
Lead hottie- the busty, daisy dukes and a tank-top wearing Sarah Dumont is fine but she is no Emma Stone or as it turns out Jenna Jameson.
Not to say that Dumont is bad - she is clearly a better actress than Jameson for what that is worth but at least Jameson in "Zombie Strippers" had a cheesy role to ham up and she was kind of perfect for it.
Dumont's character is a variation on the hooker with a heart of gold schtick that was old a quarter of a century ago.
I really wanted this movie to work but assumed that even if it wasn't very good that it would deliver on the basics.
If it had some nicely executed zombie gore scenes or jokes that worked you could forgive this films failures in other areas.
Not a lot to ask - surely?
Sadly there is nothing left to make up for a really weak script populated with poor characterisation and a story that makes no sense at all.
A wasted opportunity.
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