Mortdecai - directed by David Koepp
Starring: Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn, Jonny Pasvolsky, Paul Whitehouse, Jeff Goldblum
Running Time: 107 minutes
Rated: M for mild sexual references and language (2 x f-bombs)
Honestly - I am beginning to think that most people who review movies actively dislike them and are disappointed when they can find nothing scathing to write or say about them.
How delighted these folk must have been when along came "Mortdecai".
It is super fashionable to bag major stars and never more so when they are starring in (gasp!) mainstream studio movies.
Johnny Depp in this case.
He was once well known for seemingly avoiding mainstream success (a charge he denied) until a little movie called "Pirates of the Caribbean" came along.
I don't like any of the sequels but that first film was, and still is truly great.
But now of course in light of misfires like "The Lone Ranger" and "The Tourist" Depp must be destroyed and this film has been utterly, ferociously murdered both critically and at the box office.
The question now becomes is it really that bad?
Well, no.
Not at all.
If... and this is a big if - if you go into it with an open mind undemanding of greatness.
And "Mortdecai" is certainly nowhere near 'great'.
In fact it often drifts out of sight of merely 'good'.
I can almost hear you yelling "Should I see it or not!?" and I am no doubt not going to make any friends when I say 'maybe'.
But bear with me.
"Mortdecai" is a farcical comedy - a very British genre.
Johnny Depp is clearly a fan of British comedy.
He has starred in a few Ricky Gervais shows and his work in "The Fast Show" was terrific - no doubt leading to that shows creator Paul Whitehouse appearing in this film as a dodgy accented Italian.
In fact this is an unashamedly British movie.
It may be directed by an American and star many US actors but at heart it is a good old fashioned British farce loaded with cads, bounders and saucy lasses.
Depp plays the titular character- a Lord who specialises in fine (and not so fine) artworks.
Having fallen on hard times he is desperate to turn around his fortunes and retain the affections of the one thing in the world he truly desires - his wife Joanna (a staggeringly lovely, age defying Gwyneth Paltrow)
So with his faithful manservant Jock in tow he accepts a mission from former University pal and rival for Joanna's affection MI5 man Alistair Martland (McGregor).
He must secure a rare Goya painting that is also being sought by an international terrorist, Russian mobsters, an American Billionaire, a nymphomaniac and half of the art dealing world.
It is intentionally absurd.
Hell, it even has a reference to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!
Depp is obviously having an absolute riot here.
I like what he does and I would rather watch another film about Charlie Mortdecai than another overlong, dull Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
It's an unsubtle performance but clearly neither the script nor the director called for anything else.
The main problem is that the entire movie rests on the central character and he isn't as funny as Depp and director Koepp assumed he must be since they were having such damned fun.
Much is made of his newly grown mustache with an oft repeated gag involving Joanna's distaste at it.
Similarly Jock (a typically excellent Paul Bettany) is subjected to the full brunt of Charlie's bumbling ineptitude.
He is shot, mauled, run over, tortured and beaten repeatedly.
The idea seems to be that if you throw enough madness at the screen most of it should stick but for me there is a lot more that doesn't work in this film than does.
What does work is Paltrow who is just gorgeous and gets her character bang on. She is sympathetic and likeable and that is all down to her performance.
Bettany is great and the ongoing jokes about his sexual conquests work very well.
Playing the nymphomaniacal Georgina Olivia Munn suffers from having an underwritten character but she does all that the script requires of her - looks stunning.
I don't count myself a fan of her acting as a rule but Thor's Hammer the camera sure loves her!
Speaking of which - the cinematography by Florian Hoffmeister and the rather nifty editing are strong points.
I love the stylish aeroplane shots as Mortdecai and Jock move all over the globe- the jet airliners swooping and banking across massive place names embedded into scenery that roars by rapidly transporting the story from London to Oxford to Moscow to Los Angeles and back several times.
Lovely stuff.
What doesn't work?
Sadly the culprit is the script.
It is short on laughs and there are far too many lines that fall flat.
It often has the air of a pantomime production- all nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
It is deliberate but nonetheless there is no denying that a lot of the scenes just don't work.
The criticism that Depp seems to be copping is unfair however.
Whatever failings "Mortdecai" has it isn't Depp who should take the blame.
He is fully onboard with his character.
I have heard this film compared unfavourably to "Hudson Hawk"- a film that famously took a critically pasting way back in 1991.
I quite liked it then and still do but it is a cheap shot to compare the two. The statute of limitations is long up on Bruce Willis' notorious bomb and it is now safe to say that you like it.
As a comparison I would put up "The Cable Guy" as a more apt one.
My sense with the reviews on "Mortdecai" are taking the form of both Cable Guy and Hudson Hawk and the verdict has been rendered early and everyone is in on the feeding frenzy hungrily taking to the carcass.
Shame because it is not even close to a bad movie and just doesn't deserve the vitriol.
"Mortdecai" is guilty of one thing - it tries something different and it doesn't quite come off. I didn't like "Dark Shadows" at all and while on the surface it appears a similar movie with a quirky Depp character at the centre it is an entirely different beast that tries a bunch of different things that don't work. It loses any sense of identity as it desperately tries to land a punch.
"Mortdecai" knows exactly what it is and never strays.
It's aiming to be the kind of comedic romp from the days when Peter Cooke & Dudley Moore, Peter Sellers and the like were huge stars.
It is a movie out of time and there is not doubt that it relies on a single joke- namely the over the top, bumbling lead character.
He isn't as funny as the film needs him to be but I give credit for the attempt.
What the hell is wrong with being different?
If that sounds like I am making excuses for a failure I don't mean it to.
You see I enjoyed this movie and I say that still comfortable in calling it a failure.
It's like baking a cake with all care and it comes out of the oven looking perfect but when you slide the knife in to cut a wedge the centre is undercooked.
"Mortdecai" is more gooey mess than cakey goodness but rather than toss it in the trash angrily I decided to dig the spoon in and just go with it.
Tasted fine to me.
A different kind of cake but still a cake.
And there's that big 'if' I mentioned.
"Mortdecai" is cut from a different cloth to the typical comedy.
If you look at the trailer and think it looks like fun you'll probably side with me and have a decent time with it.
If you are on the fence - this will probably not be for you.
I liked it- warts and all- I really did.
Even as I was noticing it fail I was loving how genuine it was in the attempt and there is enough (just) that works.
RATING: 68 / 100
CONCLUSION: A pleasant failure that is neither as bad as you've heard nor as good as you may have hoped.
Running Time: 107 minutes
Rated: M for mild sexual references and language (2 x f-bombs)
Honestly - I am beginning to think that most people who review movies actively dislike them and are disappointed when they can find nothing scathing to write or say about them.
How delighted these folk must have been when along came "Mortdecai".
It is super fashionable to bag major stars and never more so when they are starring in (gasp!) mainstream studio movies.
Johnny Depp in this case.
He was once well known for seemingly avoiding mainstream success (a charge he denied) until a little movie called "Pirates of the Caribbean" came along.
I don't like any of the sequels but that first film was, and still is truly great.
But now of course in light of misfires like "The Lone Ranger" and "The Tourist" Depp must be destroyed and this film has been utterly, ferociously murdered both critically and at the box office.
The question now becomes is it really that bad?
Well, no.
Not at all.
If... and this is a big if - if you go into it with an open mind undemanding of greatness.
And "Mortdecai" is certainly nowhere near 'great'.
In fact it often drifts out of sight of merely 'good'.
I can almost hear you yelling "Should I see it or not!?" and I am no doubt not going to make any friends when I say 'maybe'.
But bear with me.
"Mortdecai" is a farcical comedy - a very British genre.
Johnny Depp is clearly a fan of British comedy.
He has starred in a few Ricky Gervais shows and his work in "The Fast Show" was terrific - no doubt leading to that shows creator Paul Whitehouse appearing in this film as a dodgy accented Italian.
In fact this is an unashamedly British movie.
It may be directed by an American and star many US actors but at heart it is a good old fashioned British farce loaded with cads, bounders and saucy lasses.
Depp plays the titular character- a Lord who specialises in fine (and not so fine) artworks.
Having fallen on hard times he is desperate to turn around his fortunes and retain the affections of the one thing in the world he truly desires - his wife Joanna (a staggeringly lovely, age defying Gwyneth Paltrow)
So with his faithful manservant Jock in tow he accepts a mission from former University pal and rival for Joanna's affection MI5 man Alistair Martland (McGregor).
He must secure a rare Goya painting that is also being sought by an international terrorist, Russian mobsters, an American Billionaire, a nymphomaniac and half of the art dealing world.
It is intentionally absurd.
Hell, it even has a reference to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!
 |
| Depp as Charlie Mortdecai, Paul Bettany as Jock and Ewan McGregor as Alistair |
I like what he does and I would rather watch another film about Charlie Mortdecai than another overlong, dull Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
It's an unsubtle performance but clearly neither the script nor the director called for anything else.
The main problem is that the entire movie rests on the central character and he isn't as funny as Depp and director Koepp assumed he must be since they were having such damned fun.
Much is made of his newly grown mustache with an oft repeated gag involving Joanna's distaste at it.
Similarly Jock (a typically excellent Paul Bettany) is subjected to the full brunt of Charlie's bumbling ineptitude.
He is shot, mauled, run over, tortured and beaten repeatedly.
The idea seems to be that if you throw enough madness at the screen most of it should stick but for me there is a lot more that doesn't work in this film than does.
What does work is Paltrow who is just gorgeous and gets her character bang on. She is sympathetic and likeable and that is all down to her performance.
Bettany is great and the ongoing jokes about his sexual conquests work very well.
Playing the nymphomaniacal Georgina Olivia Munn suffers from having an underwritten character but she does all that the script requires of her - looks stunning.
I don't count myself a fan of her acting as a rule but Thor's Hammer the camera sure loves her!
Speaking of which - the cinematography by Florian Hoffmeister and the rather nifty editing are strong points.
I love the stylish aeroplane shots as Mortdecai and Jock move all over the globe- the jet airliners swooping and banking across massive place names embedded into scenery that roars by rapidly transporting the story from London to Oxford to Moscow to Los Angeles and back several times.
Lovely stuff.
 |
| (left and centre) Gwyneth Paltrow- stunning as Joanna and (right) Olivia Munn- not difficult to look at either! |
Sadly the culprit is the script.
It is short on laughs and there are far too many lines that fall flat.
It often has the air of a pantomime production- all nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
It is deliberate but nonetheless there is no denying that a lot of the scenes just don't work.
The criticism that Depp seems to be copping is unfair however.
Whatever failings "Mortdecai" has it isn't Depp who should take the blame.
He is fully onboard with his character.
I have heard this film compared unfavourably to "Hudson Hawk"- a film that famously took a critically pasting way back in 1991.
I quite liked it then and still do but it is a cheap shot to compare the two. The statute of limitations is long up on Bruce Willis' notorious bomb and it is now safe to say that you like it.
As a comparison I would put up "The Cable Guy" as a more apt one.
My sense with the reviews on "Mortdecai" are taking the form of both Cable Guy and Hudson Hawk and the verdict has been rendered early and everyone is in on the feeding frenzy hungrily taking to the carcass.
Shame because it is not even close to a bad movie and just doesn't deserve the vitriol.
"Mortdecai" is guilty of one thing - it tries something different and it doesn't quite come off. I didn't like "Dark Shadows" at all and while on the surface it appears a similar movie with a quirky Depp character at the centre it is an entirely different beast that tries a bunch of different things that don't work. It loses any sense of identity as it desperately tries to land a punch.
"Mortdecai" knows exactly what it is and never strays.
It's aiming to be the kind of comedic romp from the days when Peter Cooke & Dudley Moore, Peter Sellers and the like were huge stars.
It is a movie out of time and there is not doubt that it relies on a single joke- namely the over the top, bumbling lead character.
He isn't as funny as the film needs him to be but I give credit for the attempt.
What the hell is wrong with being different?
If that sounds like I am making excuses for a failure I don't mean it to.
You see I enjoyed this movie and I say that still comfortable in calling it a failure.
It's like baking a cake with all care and it comes out of the oven looking perfect but when you slide the knife in to cut a wedge the centre is undercooked.
"Mortdecai" is more gooey mess than cakey goodness but rather than toss it in the trash angrily I decided to dig the spoon in and just go with it.
Tasted fine to me.
A different kind of cake but still a cake.
And there's that big 'if' I mentioned.
"Mortdecai" is cut from a different cloth to the typical comedy.
If you look at the trailer and think it looks like fun you'll probably side with me and have a decent time with it.
If you are on the fence - this will probably not be for you.
I liked it- warts and all- I really did.
Even as I was noticing it fail I was loving how genuine it was in the attempt and there is enough (just) that works.
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