"The Lone Ranger" - directed by Gore Verbinski
I wasn't looking forward to this movie much when it was announced.
Then, as details came through I was mildly interested.
And then I lost interest again as even more detail emerged.
The idea sounded lame but then I thought that when they announced "Pirates of the Caribbean" and that movie (at least the first one) turned out great.
The first trailers for "The Lone Ranger" looked fun so I was somewhat comforted.
Then the first word came out that it was overlong and a bit weak.
But today just before I was due to see it I checked out the full cast listing and I became more excited for this movie than I thought that I would.
There are some excellent choices in the casting.
Obviously William Fichtner who is great in everything from "Go" to "Black Hawk Down" to his massively underrated, quirky turn in "What's The Worst That Could Happen?"
Then there is Office Space's Milton- Stephen Root.
Barry Pepper, Lew Temple, James Badge Dale....
Dale is having a hell of year having already starred in "World War Z" and "Iron Man 3".
There's even a small part for W. Earl Brown - so good as Warren in "There's Something About Mary" and equally good voicing Bill in Naughty Dog's masterpiece game "The Last Of Us".
Of course the star of the show is Johnny Depp and here he re-teams with the director of not only the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies but the stunningly well executed animated flick "Rango".
There is plenty there to be optimistic about.
So, it's a shame then that all of that hope is largely for nothing.
Verbinski loves the two and a half hour running time and the duration of "The Lone Ranger" is one of the main problems with the final film.
Not that I am against long movies - I maintain that movies are like women - if you find one that you like that much the more time you spend with them the better.
Going with that comparison "The Lone Ranger" is a very nicely dressed, well made up blonde who thinks that because she looks good you'll just love her even if she has nothing interesting to say.
And on paper at least the idea behind this movie seems solid.
Get the winning team of Depp and Verbinski together again and breathe fresh life into a long forgotten character.
I wonder if there was ever the thought to have Depp play the Ranger rather than his sidekick Tonto?
As Tonto he is back in Jack Sparrow territory.
He is offbeat.
Twitchy.
Prone to nonsensical statements and outbursts.
I suspect the sole reason he is playing Tonto is so that they can make him Jack Sparrow 2.0
At one point he is even given a replay of the Jack Sparrow entrance as he steps casually off a falling ladder onto a moving train just as he did from the sinking ship onto the jetty in the first Pirates movie.
In fact there is more homage than originality in this film and that is the second major flaw.
We get musical queues from "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" and in one scene a mix of the classic opening of "Once Upon A Time In the West" and also the family murder scene from the same film.
Right down to the squeaky sound of the windmill and the scattering birds.
It is as if every decision in the writing of this film was based on throwing as much of what worked in the Pirates movies with all the homage to classic westerns that a 140 minute running time can contain on the assumption that everyone loves Westerns and everyone loves Johnny Depp.
To be fair Depp comes out of this unscathed and he is perfectly fine despite an almost complete lack of memorable dialogue.
Armie Hammer on the other hand is bland as hell.
He isn't given much of a character arc to work with and given that this is in effect an origin story that is a huge problem.
We first see him as a lawyer living in the shadow of his Ranger brother.
There is nothing to suggest that he can shoot or ride a horse.
In fact it is made clear that he cannot.
Except of course when the grand finale requires him to and he can miraculously shoot and ride like the devil himself.
The lead character is out and out boring.
The only time he is of any interest at all is when he affords Tonto the chance to be funny.
And there are far too few instances when he is.
He has a pretty good backstory but like the Ranger there is no journey or arc for him.
The budget for this film ballooned out to $250,000,000 and while it is not too hard to see why, it is not all up on the screen.
There are vast landscapes of the Old West with deserts and Monument Valley rock formations.
We see railways and impressive bridges.
In the opening scene there is even a stunning view of the Golden Gate Bridge half built.
There are a lot of horses and a huge number of extras.
The Old West looks damned good for sure.
But the action is flat.
It's over the top and cartoony but like every Pirates of the Caribbean sequel it is heavy on ambition and light on inventiveness and execution.
There is no sense of danger and very little excitement is generated.
The framing scenes in which an old Tonto tells a young boy of the adventures he has with The Lone Ranger don't work and merely add fat to the already chubby running time.
Half an hour shaved off would have done the film a huge favour.
On the plus side William Fichtner is predictably brilliant as the villainous Butch Cavendish.
With a heavily scarred lip and a taste for brutal, ritualistic dispatching of enemies this character is one of the few in the film that sparks.
Ruth Wilson is very good as the (sort of) love interest but has little to do beyond the standard damsel in distress stuff.
In appearance she reminds me of Michelle Monaghan and I wish she had been given as meaty a lead female role as that actress was in Shane Blacks riotous "Kiss, Kiss Bang Bang".
Women can exist in movies to be rescued without being totally boring - that movie proves it.
Even worse off is Helena Bonham Carter playing a brothel madam who has no good reason to exist.
She doesn't advance the plot and seems to be in the movie merely to make use of a couple of false leg gags and fulfill a perceived notion that a Western has to have a hooker in it.
"The Lone Ranger" absolutely qualifies as a Western - it just falls short as an entertaining one.
If you want to see a truly well done recent Western starring Johnny Depp and directed by Gore Verbinski check out "Rango".
It may be animated and considerably lower in budget but it succeeds in every way that "The Lone Ranger" doesn't.
It has a well rounded story and compelling characters given real journeys to go on.
Visually it more than measures up and despite Verbinski's usual hefty running time entertains for every second.
Much, much better than this overlong, flat affair.
I predicted a box office bomb for the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie and I was well off- it went on to make a billion.
I underestimated the good will that Depp and Jack Sparrow had earned for audiences.
With "The Lone Ranger" I am not sure that Depp's universal appeal can salvage a good result from the dullness of the final product.
A huge, bloated disappointment with little beyond some striking cinematography and William Fichtner to recommend it.
Then, as details came through I was mildly interested.
And then I lost interest again as even more detail emerged.
The idea sounded lame but then I thought that when they announced "Pirates of the Caribbean" and that movie (at least the first one) turned out great.
The first trailers for "The Lone Ranger" looked fun so I was somewhat comforted.
Then the first word came out that it was overlong and a bit weak.
But today just before I was due to see it I checked out the full cast listing and I became more excited for this movie than I thought that I would.
There are some excellent choices in the casting.
Obviously William Fichtner who is great in everything from "Go" to "Black Hawk Down" to his massively underrated, quirky turn in "What's The Worst That Could Happen?"
Then there is Office Space's Milton- Stephen Root.
Barry Pepper, Lew Temple, James Badge Dale....
Dale is having a hell of year having already starred in "World War Z" and "Iron Man 3".
There's even a small part for W. Earl Brown - so good as Warren in "There's Something About Mary" and equally good voicing Bill in Naughty Dog's masterpiece game "The Last Of Us".
Of course the star of the show is Johnny Depp and here he re-teams with the director of not only the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies but the stunningly well executed animated flick "Rango".
There is plenty there to be optimistic about.
 |
| Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp - less interesting than the horse |
Verbinski loves the two and a half hour running time and the duration of "The Lone Ranger" is one of the main problems with the final film.
Not that I am against long movies - I maintain that movies are like women - if you find one that you like that much the more time you spend with them the better.
Going with that comparison "The Lone Ranger" is a very nicely dressed, well made up blonde who thinks that because she looks good you'll just love her even if she has nothing interesting to say.
And on paper at least the idea behind this movie seems solid.
Get the winning team of Depp and Verbinski together again and breathe fresh life into a long forgotten character.
I wonder if there was ever the thought to have Depp play the Ranger rather than his sidekick Tonto?
As Tonto he is back in Jack Sparrow territory.
He is offbeat.
Twitchy.
Prone to nonsensical statements and outbursts.
I suspect the sole reason he is playing Tonto is so that they can make him Jack Sparrow 2.0
At one point he is even given a replay of the Jack Sparrow entrance as he steps casually off a falling ladder onto a moving train just as he did from the sinking ship onto the jetty in the first Pirates movie.
In fact there is more homage than originality in this film and that is the second major flaw.
We get musical queues from "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" and in one scene a mix of the classic opening of "Once Upon A Time In the West" and also the family murder scene from the same film.
Right down to the squeaky sound of the windmill and the scattering birds.
 |
| The Old West is nicely realised with some beautiful cinematograhy |
To be fair Depp comes out of this unscathed and he is perfectly fine despite an almost complete lack of memorable dialogue.
Armie Hammer on the other hand is bland as hell.
He isn't given much of a character arc to work with and given that this is in effect an origin story that is a huge problem.
We first see him as a lawyer living in the shadow of his Ranger brother.
There is nothing to suggest that he can shoot or ride a horse.
In fact it is made clear that he cannot.
Except of course when the grand finale requires him to and he can miraculously shoot and ride like the devil himself.
The lead character is out and out boring.
The only time he is of any interest at all is when he affords Tonto the chance to be funny.
And there are far too few instances when he is.
He has a pretty good backstory but like the Ranger there is no journey or arc for him.
 |
| The great William Fichtner as Butch and Tom Wilkinson as Cole |
There are vast landscapes of the Old West with deserts and Monument Valley rock formations.
We see railways and impressive bridges.
In the opening scene there is even a stunning view of the Golden Gate Bridge half built.
There are a lot of horses and a huge number of extras.
The Old West looks damned good for sure.
But the action is flat.
It's over the top and cartoony but like every Pirates of the Caribbean sequel it is heavy on ambition and light on inventiveness and execution.
There is no sense of danger and very little excitement is generated.
The framing scenes in which an old Tonto tells a young boy of the adventures he has with The Lone Ranger don't work and merely add fat to the already chubby running time.
Half an hour shaved off would have done the film a huge favour.
On the plus side William Fichtner is predictably brilliant as the villainous Butch Cavendish.
With a heavily scarred lip and a taste for brutal, ritualistic dispatching of enemies this character is one of the few in the film that sparks.
Ruth Wilson is very good as the (sort of) love interest but has little to do beyond the standard damsel in distress stuff.
In appearance she reminds me of Michelle Monaghan and I wish she had been given as meaty a lead female role as that actress was in Shane Blacks riotous "Kiss, Kiss Bang Bang".
Women can exist in movies to be rescued without being totally boring - that movie proves it.
Even worse off is Helena Bonham Carter playing a brothel madam who has no good reason to exist.
She doesn't advance the plot and seems to be in the movie merely to make use of a couple of false leg gags and fulfill a perceived notion that a Western has to have a hooker in it.
 |
| Ruth Wilson as Rebecca and Helena Bonham Carter as Red |
If you want to see a truly well done recent Western starring Johnny Depp and directed by Gore Verbinski check out "Rango".
It may be animated and considerably lower in budget but it succeeds in every way that "The Lone Ranger" doesn't.
It has a well rounded story and compelling characters given real journeys to go on.
Visually it more than measures up and despite Verbinski's usual hefty running time entertains for every second.
Much, much better than this overlong, flat affair.
I predicted a box office bomb for the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie and I was well off- it went on to make a billion.
I underestimated the good will that Depp and Jack Sparrow had earned for audiences.
With "The Lone Ranger" I am not sure that Depp's universal appeal can salvage a good result from the dullness of the final product.
A huge, bloated disappointment with little beyond some striking cinematography and William Fichtner to recommend it.
| Rated | M for violence - a surprising amount of PG-13 stretching stuff |
| Running Time: | 149 minutes (2hr, 20 mins without end credits) |
| Starring: |
| Johnny Depp | --- Tonto |
| Armie Hammer | --- John Reid / The Lone Ranger |
| William Fichtner | --- Butch Cavendish |
| Tom Wilkinson | --- Cole |
| Ruth Wilson | --- Rebecca Reid |
| Helena Bonham Carter | --- Red Harrington |
| James Badge Dale | --- Dan Reid |
| Barry Pepper | --- Fuller |
| Bryant Prince | --- Danny |
| James Frain | --- Barret |
| W. Earl Brown | --- Mustached Ranger |
| Lew Temple | --- Hollis |
| Leon Rippy | --- Collins |
| Stephen Root | --- Habberman |
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