"Movie 43" - directed by various (13 credits)
If nothing else "Movie 43" shows that reviews have power.
The first time I saw the trailer for this movie with that huge roster of stars and the extremely irreverent humour I thought that it looked pretty damned funny.
A lot of people agreed.
Frequently when I tell friends and workmates that I saw a trailer that looked good they need me to explain what the movie is but with this one pretty much everyone said 'Oh yeah- that movie looks so funny'.
Then the reviews hit.
'Is this the worst movie ever made?' asked one review headline.
'The saddest, most pathetic movie of 2013' stated another.
Three separate people mentioned the torrent of negative reviews when I said I was off to see "Movie 43" tonight.
In the space of two weeks it went from Must See to Wait For Dvd.
But not for me.
I really want every movie to be good and if the reviews slate it I am prepared to check it out for myself in case it is another perfectly fine movie that is simply too low brow for the big name critics.
It is not.
The reviews are correct.
"Movie 43" is terrible.
Irredeemably terrible.
You may be thinking what I thought before I saw this film...
There are too many talented people involved and even if it isn't the greatest or even the funniest movie ever made it must surely have a decent quota of laughs to make it a suitable diversion.
By making a movie made up of a bunch of sketches of no more than 10 minutes each surely enough shots get fired to produce some hits?
To that I would make this point....
A high percentage of people rate "Airplane" (aka "Flying High" in some countries) the funniest movie ever made.
That film has about a dozen jokes that just kind of sit there being not particularly funny.
And about five dozen that completely work and are hilarious.
It's hard to think of the ones that don't work and who wants to anyway when there are so many classic, eminently quotable lines and sight gags to discuss instead.
With "Movie 43" I struggle to find anything to hold up as an example of a working gag.
Each segment is based on one joke that is milked for all that it is worth.
It could be visual as is the case with the opening piece involving Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman on a blind date.
Another starring Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott features a captured Leprechaun (Gerard Butler) with a foul mouth.
The one featuring Chloe Grace Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse sees the formers character experiencing her first period at the worst time.
With that last one there is at least an attempt to satirize the typical male reaction to such a perfectly normal event in a woman's life.
I did like the Tampax commercial that ended the clip but everything before it was handled so clumsily that it wastes the talents of not only the two young actors but the great Patrick Warburton on top.
And the poor man is not alone.
Even a quick skim down the cast list provides an impressive cross section of comedic talent.
Almost to the last they are completely wasted.
Kate Winslet does her best and Greg Kinnear defies the odds to almost come out of this debacle unscathed but otherwise the actors are left flailing trying to get some kind of laugh out of the material.
The script is not on their side.
As a concept it is not a bad one.
I imagine that in trying to come up with a single concept for a comedy the writers came up with a couple of dozen that were not enough to support a ninety minute feature individually so they decided to find a framework in which to place all of them as separate segments.
It can work- "Airplane", "Naked Gun" and "Top Secret" are all riffs on the idea.
They may have a central narrative but the jokes that reside within are all over the place.
With such a high percentage of hits it doesn't matter.
It pains me to see Emma Stone giving it her all as she always does and not provoking so much as a smile in me.
I hate that Chloe Grace Moretz has this one on her resume alongside such awesomeness as "Let Me In", "Kickass" and "Hugo".
And don't even get me started on Naomi Watts and Chris Pratt.
I have just seen each in movies that I rate as the best this year ("The Impossible" and "Zero Dark Thirty") and now I have to see them doing poop and testicle jokes.
I like toilet humour- dick and fart jokes- as much as the next guy (and I admit probably more) but not ones that don't work and certainly not ones that utilise amazingly talented people in failing this badly.
If the ideas behind the segments were bad it would be one thing but many of them are in fact decent.
The problem is in the writing and execution.
There is no better example than the speed dating superhero bit that sees Batman, Robin and Wonder Woman involved.
Jason Sudeikis, Justin Long are funny guys.
I like Uma Thurman, Katrina Bowden and Kristen Bell.
Leslie Bibb dressed as Wonder Woman is something that I always want to see.
And it could be the worst bit in the film.
It baffles me.
I am almost impressed that the odds of this piece working were defied with such totality and completeness.
Almost.
I blame myself for this travesty.
Too many times in the last fortnight I have told people that I couldn't recall the last really bad movie that I have seen lately.
Like Andromeda boasting of her daughters beauty I tempted fate and offended the movie Gods and now this.... this travesty has been visited upon us.
I told people to take reviews bagging "Movie 43" with a pinch of salt because often the 'serious' critics do that with movies loaded with toilet humour.
This time they got it absolutely right.
There's a racist joke that goes 'Did you hear about the (insert nationality) who walked into a bar with a handful of shit and said look what I almost stepped in!'
Well the jokes on me - I hold in my hands a big old pile of "Movie 43".
I advise you to be careful not to make the same mistake.
It's playing in cinemas everywhere... watch your step.
The first time I saw the trailer for this movie with that huge roster of stars and the extremely irreverent humour I thought that it looked pretty damned funny.
A lot of people agreed.
Frequently when I tell friends and workmates that I saw a trailer that looked good they need me to explain what the movie is but with this one pretty much everyone said 'Oh yeah- that movie looks so funny'.
Then the reviews hit.
'Is this the worst movie ever made?' asked one review headline.
'The saddest, most pathetic movie of 2013' stated another.
Three separate people mentioned the torrent of negative reviews when I said I was off to see "Movie 43" tonight.
In the space of two weeks it went from Must See to Wait For Dvd.
But not for me.
I really want every movie to be good and if the reviews slate it I am prepared to check it out for myself in case it is another perfectly fine movie that is simply too low brow for the big name critics.
It is not.
The reviews are correct.
"Movie 43" is terrible.
Irredeemably terrible.
You may be thinking what I thought before I saw this film...
There are too many talented people involved and even if it isn't the greatest or even the funniest movie ever made it must surely have a decent quota of laughs to make it a suitable diversion.
By making a movie made up of a bunch of sketches of no more than 10 minutes each surely enough shots get fired to produce some hits?
To that I would make this point....
A high percentage of people rate "Airplane" (aka "Flying High" in some countries) the funniest movie ever made.
That film has about a dozen jokes that just kind of sit there being not particularly funny.
And about five dozen that completely work and are hilarious.
It's hard to think of the ones that don't work and who wants to anyway when there are so many classic, eminently quotable lines and sight gags to discuss instead.
With "Movie 43" I struggle to find anything to hold up as an example of a working gag.
Each segment is based on one joke that is milked for all that it is worth.
It could be visual as is the case with the opening piece involving Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman on a blind date.
Another starring Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott features a captured Leprechaun (Gerard Butler) with a foul mouth.
The one featuring Chloe Grace Moretz and Christopher Mintz-Plasse sees the formers character experiencing her first period at the worst time.
With that last one there is at least an attempt to satirize the typical male reaction to such a perfectly normal event in a woman's life.
I did like the Tampax commercial that ended the clip but everything before it was handled so clumsily that it wastes the talents of not only the two young actors but the great Patrick Warburton on top.
And the poor man is not alone.
Even a quick skim down the cast list provides an impressive cross section of comedic talent.
Almost to the last they are completely wasted.
Kate Winslet does her best and Greg Kinnear defies the odds to almost come out of this debacle unscathed but otherwise the actors are left flailing trying to get some kind of laugh out of the material.
 |
| Talented and lovely actresses - two have Oscars, two more will get them soon... but not for Movie 43 |
As a concept it is not a bad one.
I imagine that in trying to come up with a single concept for a comedy the writers came up with a couple of dozen that were not enough to support a ninety minute feature individually so they decided to find a framework in which to place all of them as separate segments.
It can work- "Airplane", "Naked Gun" and "Top Secret" are all riffs on the idea.
They may have a central narrative but the jokes that reside within are all over the place.
With such a high percentage of hits it doesn't matter.
It pains me to see Emma Stone giving it her all as she always does and not provoking so much as a smile in me.
I hate that Chloe Grace Moretz has this one on her resume alongside such awesomeness as "Let Me In", "Kickass" and "Hugo".
And don't even get me started on Naomi Watts and Chris Pratt.
I have just seen each in movies that I rate as the best this year ("The Impossible" and "Zero Dark Thirty") and now I have to see them doing poop and testicle jokes.
I like toilet humour- dick and fart jokes- as much as the next guy (and I admit probably more) but not ones that don't work and certainly not ones that utilise amazingly talented people in failing this badly.
If the ideas behind the segments were bad it would be one thing but many of them are in fact decent.
The problem is in the writing and execution.
There is no better example than the speed dating superhero bit that sees Batman, Robin and Wonder Woman involved.
Jason Sudeikis, Justin Long are funny guys.
I like Uma Thurman, Katrina Bowden and Kristen Bell.
Leslie Bibb dressed as Wonder Woman is something that I always want to see.
And it could be the worst bit in the film.
It baffles me.
I am almost impressed that the odds of this piece working were defied with such totality and completeness.
Almost.
 |
| No bad performances - just abysmal writing |
Too many times in the last fortnight I have told people that I couldn't recall the last really bad movie that I have seen lately.
Like Andromeda boasting of her daughters beauty I tempted fate and offended the movie Gods and now this.... this travesty has been visited upon us.
I told people to take reviews bagging "Movie 43" with a pinch of salt because often the 'serious' critics do that with movies loaded with toilet humour.
This time they got it absolutely right.
There's a racist joke that goes 'Did you hear about the
Well the jokes on me - I hold in my hands a big old pile of "Movie 43".
I advise you to be careful not to make the same mistake.
It's playing in cinemas everywhere... watch your step.
| Rated | R16 for profanity, nudity and a constant barrage of dick jokes |
| Running Time: | 94 minutes |
| Starring: |
| Dennis Quaid | --- Charlie Wessler |
| Greg Kinnear | --- Griffin Schraeder |
| Common | --- Bob Mone |
| Seth Macfarlane | --- Seth MacFarlane |
| Hugh Jackman | --- Davis |
| Kate Winslet | --- Beth |
| Emma Stone | --- Veronica |
| Kieran Culkin | --- Neil |
| Liev Schreiber | --- Robert |
| Naomi Watts | --- Samantha |
| Elizabeth Banks | --- Amy |
| Seann William Scott | --- Brian |
| Anna Faris | --- Vanessa |
| Chris Pratt | --- Jason |
| Richard Gere | --- Boss |
| Kate Bosworth | --- Ariene |
| Johnny Knoxville | --- Pete |
| Christopher Mintz-Plasse | --- Mikey |
| Chloe Grace Moretz | --- Amanda |
| Patrick Warburton | --- Dad |
| Katrina Bowden | --- Dad |
| Jack McBrayer | --- Brian |
| Gerard Butler | --- Leprechaun |
| Stephen Merchant | --- Donald |
| Halle Berry | --- Emily |
| Josh Duhamel | --- Anson |
| Justin Long | --- Fake Robin |
| Jason Sudeikis | --- Fake Batman |
| Uma Thurman | --- Fake Lois Lane |
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